Zombie Apocalypse – Caused By Your Car

Your “modern iron”, “rain car”, “grocery getter” or whatever you want to call it is turning you into a zombie! Yes it’s true, and a lazy one at that!

Tor Johnson as a zombie with his victim in cult movie Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) Auto wipers, auto lights, seats that move at the touch of a button, navigation the responds to voice command! They even put controls right on the steering wheel so movement of your muscles is almost gone… Even the kids are not safe – the TV screens in your headrests are part of the evil plot. The kids won’t know what’s going on outside the car unless you feed the backup camera into the the TV headrests!

And the list goes on.

The start was the automatic transmission, and few took offense. But then they got the Zombie Plan up to speed – although electronically limited to prevent engine damage. Satellite navigation, now with crash information upload, and “EMS alert system”, Memory seats, memory mirrors, parking-proximity-alert, dual climate control (there are two climates in my car?!),  “DSC” aka dynamic stability control, “ABS” aka anti-lock brake system, proximity keys, remote lock, remote start, automatic high beam control, and the list goes on. Heck, you can get the CDC and MSN with your mobile-cloud WiFi up-link via Bluetooth. (All those wasted dentist trips!)

And here comes “auto-park” and “auto-drive”.

You already barely need to move to operate a modern vehicle, soon we’ll read articles about people still driving that have been dead for days.

I don’t know about you, but I’m going to get in my stick-shift car with wind-up windows and manual seats and get away!

But I’m taking my smartphone in case I need to ask Siri how to escape zombies …


Robert Morey
With over 40 years in the business, Robert Morey restores and maintains British cars. His restorations have won many awards and are in collections across the U.S., England, Japan and the Bahamas. Robert is compiling a book on owning British cars as both a business and a hobby. Robert and his wife Michele live in Charleston, South Carolina.


  1. Another gem. You have enough material to keep them going for a long time. Subscribed to the daily British car thingie.


  2. Excellent post, but “wind-up windows”? How convenient! Side curtains are the mark of a truly rugged individualistic driver.

Comments are closed.